If the clock is ticking, take action to get information and make sure you are protecting yourself. They wish they had known the financial implications, the parenting implications, and the level of happiness they can find on the other side years earlier. Taking action can mean doing the counseling or if you have tried that, moving forward with getting information about the next steps and what your options are before you make another move.Īt the end of the day, people often stay unhappy in very detrimental relationships that are physically, mentally, and even financially abusive for far longer than they should. If so, acting does not have to mean drawing up paperwork instantly and burning everything down with a flurry of litigation, mudslinging, and telling the kids you are getting divorced in a tearful conversation around the kitchen table. That can be the first step to action.ĭid you know that most people think about divorce and separation for an average of 2 to 3 years before they act? You might be ready to act. If not, do it now if it is on your radar. If you are in one of these situations where things have been plodding along and that “something“ has happened, you likely have already pursued counseling – maybe more than once. Having knowledge is powerful in every way. You should do everything you can to make sure you are ready to end it or at least that you believe it is what you need to do for a happier and healthier life before you make the decision. Marriage is also the most binding legal contract you may ever be in. In reality, a marriage is the biggest commitment you made in your life to another adult. When it no longer is, I support people taking action. When it comes to divorce, I am always all for people doing marriage counseling and trying to make it work if at all possible if that is healthy for their family. Sometimes that means putting an estate plan in place, doing an adoption to add to a family, changing a parenting plan to make it work better for a family, or things other than divorce. To me, that means that I want what is best for people’s families and help them find solutions. I am a divorce attorney, but that does not mean I think everyone needs a divorce. Wouldn’t it be helpful to understand what is happening and how to best protect yourself? That may give you a little peace while you determine how to navigate the waters ahead. Add to that the added stress of living through COVID and periods of quarantine over the past two years and things may be very tense in your home. Maybe you really want out and you do just want to be fair… But you are not sure how fair your spouse will be or whether they will make up lies about you, pull out any skeletons in your closet to make you look bad, or any number of other hears. You can ignore it and hope it does not happen again, or you can act on the “something.” Whether you have reached a breaking point yet, the clock is likely ticking on your relationship. He is too aggressive with the kids and scares them. She doesn’t like it when you see friends and constantly makes accusations that you are having an affair. She is cheating! He took all the money out of the bank account and won’t tell you where it went. When that “something” happens, you go from feeling like you can make it work and get through another day, week, month, holiday season to realizing this is not a way to live. Then something big happens that you cannot ignore. You think you are happy enough to make it work and don’t want to do something to disrupt the status quo. Something is not right, but perhaps you do not really want to know what that is. Some days are better than others, but you live parallel lives. Is the clock ticking on your relationship? Maybe things have not been great for a while.
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